I'm a Playwrite, Legitly

Just something I wrote for creative writing last night.

***Reproduction art- a reproduced painting
Orifice- An opening in your body, ie mouth, nose, rectum, etc
Just a note: some may find this piece slightly disturbing. Enjoy.

Krait and Michail

Krait: If you only knew what I wanted to do to her. Seriously.
Michail: Like I don’t know already. Who wouldn’t want to do her? I’m sure every guy that has seen her has wanted to.
Krait: No. See you don’t understand. Someone hired me to do her. Like do her do her.
Michail: No one would have to pay me to hit that. (Laughs obnoxiously.)
Krait: Ugh. You really don’t get it do you? I was hired to kill the incompetent whore.
Michail: Oh. You got hire to DO her. Like do her do her? Wow.
Krait: Even though that is exactly what I just said. Yes. And, the person that hired me game me details on how they want it done. Before they showed me her picture I just looked at it as another job. But then, I saw her. I swear the person that hired me knew that I’d enjoy torturing her before I killed her.
Michail: How’d they want you to do her?
Krait: Oh. I just get excited just thinking about it. (Laughs heartily)Well, since she’s always at home in the day, they figured that I should do it then.
Michail: That way there is less chance of witnesses.
Krait: Correct. So, I walk into her kitchen where she is having her morning coffee and reading the New York Times Arts section. I put my gun to the back of her head and I tell her that if she makes any noise I’ll shoot. Then I take her down to her basement that her ex-husband so wonderfully sound proofed.
Michail: Ah. I’m loving this already. No one will hear her screams. Damn, I almost want to be there and see this.
Krait: I would bring you but you know I can’t. But yes, I put her on the couch and tell her to stay there. I go up to the book shelf and take the reproduction art that I took off her wall and put there the night before. Could you imagine the look on her face when she sees that I’ve been in her house already?
Michail: Krait, you have to let me come. I won’t show my face. Please. I have to be there.
Krait: Your face doesn’t matter if she’s going to die anyway. But listen. After that, you remember what I said about all her major orifices?
Michail: Yea.
Krait: Well, I shall do that. I might stretch them out or make a few new ones. Then after she enjoys her time with the reproduction art and the few little statues that she had laying out and about the den, I’m going to pull out the couch into a bed and put her e in the holding compartment. This is where her own choice will determine whether she gets killed or not.
Michail: You’re giving her a choice? Are you kidding me?
Krait: Relax, any choice she makes will result in her death. Anyway, she’ll be in the compartment and I’ll fold it back over her. She’s small enough to fit fairly comfortably in the little space. I’ll tell her that I’m thinking of a number from 1 to 20 and if she guesses close to it, I won’t shoot her.
Michail: Bullshit. You’d never—
Krait: No, listen. After she guesses the number I’ll tell her some random number that is far away from what she guessed because I ‘m not going to think of a number in the first place.
Michail: Give her a sense of hope and then crush it. I like it.
Krait: Of course you do. It’s like one of the best tortures. Then I tell her that it’s too bad that she has to die now. I leave her there with the gun in a little contraption that I made and tested a couple days ago on that old lady on Mullins Road.
Michail: Oh, you’re the one that killed her.
Krait: Yea. I had to test it on someone and her time on Earth was just about up anyway. So the contraption is connected to the couch. I’ll walk out and when she tries to get up, the contraption will go to work and pull the trigger and BANG!! She’s dead. Perfect.
Michail: It really is. I just really wish I can get a go at her before you kill her.
Krait: I know you would, that’s why I had the people that hired me set you up with her for a date set up with her tonight. Well, it’s partly because I need her out the house so I can prepare myself for tomorrow night’s events.
Michail: Sweet. Can you give me a copy of the tape it so I can see? I just want to see her face. Just her face.
Krait: Oh I will. I will Michail.
(Cell phone rings)
Krait: It’s her. Enjoy yourself.
Michail: I sure will. I’ll knock her dead.
[EXIT Krait to street]
Michail: Hey Christina, meet me at the Hilton in a half an hour. You’re going to have the best time of your life. You’ll remember it till the day you die.